How can I be wrong more?

As I was re-designing this personal website and getting back into writing, I had a choice to make. What should I do with all the old posts that I have written?

There was a loud voice in my head that voted to get rid of it all. Start fresh. Keep it simple and clean. No need to keep that old content around anymore.

While all of those reasons are valid, it was masking the real reason behind that thought. Some of those old posts are bad, poorly written and completely wrong.

I wrote about the future quite frequently, so it's easy to look back now at how wrong so much of that was. Some of it was only slightly wrong and some of it was completely and comprehensively wrong.

Ultimately, I decided to keep it all there, keep it public and searchable.

I want to be wrong more.

Having that archive public is a good reminder of that. While some of those posts were wildly inaccurate, others were tangentially correct. Some of my Free Startups Ideas turned into companies and raised capital. Some of my analysis and predictions were close to correct. None of that is important though.

The process of taking the time to think through possible futures, digest those thoughts and write it all out in a coherent manner makes me better. It helps me be a better leader and entrepreneur. I want to make sure I'm doing more of that, so I'm happy to keep being wrong as frequently and publicly as possible.

What do I do with old thought patterns?

I had a meeting this week with a very dear friend. I wanted to get some feedback from him about a new thing that I'm working on, and some old thought patterns came up.

This friend is a very successful person, and it occurred to me that he had the resources, team and experience. Tiny voice in my head said that he would take this idea and build it without me. This brought forth the thought that I shouldn't share this with him.

What if he takes this idea and runs with it? What if he someone works it into one of the companies that he's running? What if he's able to execute better and faster than I can? A lot of the wrong kind of what ifs.

It was scarcity mindset at the most basic level.

So what if he runs with this idea? Great. That means that it'll get built and I won't have to build it.

I had this internal dialogue before the meeting, recognized this old pattern and share the new thing anyways.

To take it one step further, I shared with him the entire internal dialogue and old thought pattern of scarcity along with a brief moment of not wanting to share it. We shared a beautiful moment, had a good laugh and it ultimately brought us closer together.

Of course I was meant to share this with him as he's been kicking around similar ideas. He mentioned a few investors he has lined up. And he we as far to suggest that we explore the idea of me transforming one his companies to build this internally there. Pretty incredible to see the abundance flow when we move past scarcity.

Recognize the old patterns. Flip it and reverse it. Instead of not sharing something, share the old thought pattern as well.

When is it not time for tea?

If you know me, you know I love my tea time. And accordingly, this is my new favorite anology.

There is a large portion of the influencer world that consists entirely of recycling the same positive messages and quotes. “Yay. You got this. You are wonderful. Everything is perfect.”

Of course I’m exaggerating, but maybe not by all that much.

I now imagine these influencers on rollercoaster causally sipping some tea with their pinky up as the cart slowly clicks up the track, building more and more potential energy for the big drop.

“What a beautiful day it is.” ~sip~ “The birds are chirping and the squirrels are so playful.” ~sip~ “Oh, what a beautiful view from up here.” ~sip~

Then WHOOSH!

“HOOOOOOOOOO”

“LEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“SHHHHHHHHHHH”

“IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT”

Ride stops. Heart pounding. Hair definitely not instagram ready. Completely empty tea cup.

While I certainly don’t wish the rollercoaster on anyone, we all know it’s part of life. Let’s not pretend that it’s all sunshine and butterflies all the time. The positivity and positive mental talk is so important, and we also have to be real.

When you’re buckled up in your cart heading up the first hill of a rollercoaster, do yourself a favor and put the tea away. Perhaps, take some time to enjoy the wonderful new views or use it as an opportunity to see how stable you can keep you hear rate while pulling some g’s around the loops.

But clearly, rollercoasters aren’t the best time for tea.

What happens when I continue to surrender?

Surrender was the theme for me in 2019. It was a wild year filled with some amazing experiences and some major headaches. It required massive amounts of trust, moment to moment, to continue to surrender in the face of uncertainty. I’m glad I followed that thread for the year to show me what I need to be shown and learn what I needed to learn.

And while surrender is no longer the major theme, it is something that I have incorporated into who I am and how I show up.

These past few weeks have required me to tap back into that surrender mode in a major way.

My father has scheduled heart surgery and was admitted to the hospital on January 27. The surgery itself went smooth, but then there were complications that showed up just as he was about to be released. Tomorrow will mark 4th week of him being in the hospital, and the new plan is that he’ll be released sometime during the middle of this week.

I feel incredibly grateful that he will be walking away from this at all, because not everyone does.

I also have seen the stress that this has put on my father, my family and me. I have also seen a major transformation in him from frantically trying to convince everyone to let him go home, to becoming very accepting that he is still there for a reason.

It has been exhausting for all of us, and we’re looking forward to him coming home soon, whenever that will be.

It’s presented me with the opportunity to bring surrender back into the mix for me. I mostly haven’t written anything here while this was going down. I’ve had to put some things on pause professionally. And I’m fully on board with all of that. I’m listening to what is being shown to me moment by moment. I’ve become laser focused on the true priorities during this time, and it felt so aligned.

While I missed you all and writing regularly, I’m glad I was able to surrender. As much as I enjoy the time I spent writing, I never want to force that time. If there’s ever a pause or an extended break in between posts, know that listening to what’s coming up for me and that I’ll be back to bring the fire soon enough.

What is the most swagger version of me?

One night, many years ago, I was out drinking with some friends.

Most of our group decided to call it a night. I was particularly feeling it this night, so I convinced one friend to continue the adventure with me. I'm sure glad he was there to witness it. This is a bit of a strange story, but I assure you, it's 100% real and has a point to it :)

I don't see this friend too often these days, but every time I do, he still reminds me of this night.

To set expectations, this isn't some crazy drinking story. I have an almost unlimited supply of drunken antics and WTF stories from back in the day, but this isn't one of them.

After our friends called it a night, we decided to move to a new bar. We ended up at an overly crowded bar were we had to fight to get the bartenders attention. That's when it happened.

As my friend recalls, he had never seen anything like it. Women just kept coming up to me and offering to buy me drinks. I didn't pay for a drink the entire time we were there. My friend, who is normally much more social and is a very good looking guy, spent the night in awe of what was happening and enjoyed the free drinks.

As my friend shared the story in amazement with the rest of the group who had bailed early, I struggled to figure out how it all happened or what was different that night. To be clear, this was certainly not a normal occurrence.

Looking back now, I have a greater understanding of the magic of that night.

When we are fully aligned and authentic, we radiate a different light and vibration. Most people, most of the time, don't have a frame of reference for this higher frequency and as a result become very attracted to this light. That night in Hoboken, NJ, I ever so briefly tapped into that higher level.

There's a fascinating story about when Marilyn Monroe brought this to life. Marilyn was walking around NYC with the wife of her personal photographer, and she was enjoying herself because the people in New York didn't recognize her like they did in Hollywood. That's when she turned to the wife and said, "Do you want to see me become her?" And like magic, Marilyn flipped on this switch and instantly everyone started recognizing her.

Such an incredible awareness of the power of that light. I've seen this light in others at times and have had rare moments where I've embodied it myself.

As I recalled both of these stories, I started to ask myself, what is the version of me that has access to that frequency? Who is THAT person and how do they show up? While I'm not sure any of us will ever be able to flip on a switch like Marilyn, I would love to integrate more of that magnetic energy in everything I do.

I don't fully have these answers yet, but there's one thing that jumped out to me. I feel like the most swagger-licious version of myself when I am on a snowboard.

If we've been on a mountain together, you may have seen glimpses of this. I feel like an artist up there: effortlessly carving my masterpiece down the mountain, blazing my own trail of fresh snow with grace and ease, following the thread of whatever adventure the mountain wants to present to me, certain of the destination and completely open to the path to get there.

Part of this new identity that I'm stepping into is that of the mountain artist. Whatever that beautiful version is for all of us, the world needs that now more than ever.