What is the outcome of this meeting?

In the 68th minute of a meeting that was only supposed to be 60 minutes long, the person on the other end of zoom asked me:

"What was the outcome you expected for this meeting?"

It took me by surprise. Then I laughed a little. Then I had an answer.

There are some meetings for me that are very by the books. I have a very clear outcome for the meeting and let everyone know that outcome ideally prior to the meeting, but at the very least within the first few minutes of the meeting.

There are other meetings, like this one, where we happen to stumble upon it after the meeting has basically already ended.

In this particular case, I shared that my outcome was two-fold:

1. This is a person who I want to spend more time with and get to know better. I see mutual value in deepening the relationship, and that takes time. So this meeting was part that.
2. The other part was more obscure. I shared that there are certain things that have yet to reveal themselves. I feel that this person is very tapped in and knowledgeable about things of great interest to me, and our conversations are always revealing. No matter where the flow of the conversation takes us, more is being uncovered.

I'm grateful to have the space at the moment to have conversations like this. The outcome of the meeting may not be realized for days, weeks, months, years or decades. These meetings are part of the long game. While these are few and far in between, they are definitely some of my favorite meetings.

What have I learned from Harry Potter and Bugs Bunny about decision making?

For a hypothetical argument's sake, let's roll with the assumption that everyone is making the best decisions that they can with the information that they have in the moment. Most people, most of the time, aren't making decisions that they think are bad or wrong. We're all doing the best we can with what we got.

If we truly believe that, there's an awful lot of space for us to invite in compassion, sympathy, forgiveness and empathy when we make decisions that doesn't work out.

We make a decision. It works out. Or it doesn't. And we move on from there.

Instead, it's easier to get caught up in the opposite direction: second guessing, regret, remorse, resentment, finger pointing, blame and over thinking our past decisions. I made the decision. The best I could at the time. And now I want to use new information to make the best decision I can in this new moment.

A cool little plot device in The Half-Blooded Prince (one of my favorite Harry Potter books) is a magical potion called Felix Felicis. From the Harry Potter Wiki:

"Felix Felicis, also called "Liquid Luck", is a magical potion that makes the drinker lucky for a period of time, during which everything they attempt will be successful. It turns an ordinary day into an extraordinary one."

Harry successfully uses it towards the end of the book and has the ultimate trust in his own judgement and decision making. Harry also tricks Ron earlier in the book into thinking that Ron drank the potion before a big Quidditch match. This helps Ron get out of his own head and lead his team to victory. It has striking similarities to "Michael's Secret Stuff" in the Space Jam movie where Bugs Bunny tricks his teammates into drinking water thinking that it makes them better basketball players.

Harry and Bugs both know the power of the placebo affect. Science has proven that our brains can convince our body that a fake treatment is the real thing.

If given the opportunity and no side effects, we all would be walking around like Harry after he takes the potion. After he consumes the potion, he seemingly makes a bizarre decision and responds. "Trust me, I know what I'm doing... or at least, Felix does."

And so, that is the confidence and trust I want to cultivate in my own decision making. Mentally, I know I'm making the best decision I can in the moment, but it's oh so easy to forgot.

As a fun little hack, I've labeled my water bottle Felix Felicis. From now on, every morning when I wake up and drink water, I'll be reinforcing a little luck and magical thinking into my decision making.

What is a better measurement of wealth?

A former colleague is launching a new company called Better Than Rich. It is an extremely thought provoking name which I'm sure is part of the intention.

Money and wealth has always been an incredibly fascinating subject for me. Throughout my personal growth journey, I've had some radical perspective shifts about finances. Thinking about his new brand made me curious to see what my current worldview would reveal.

A very, very brief political aside: Andrew Yang has a policy called Human-Centered Capitalism which is about changing the measurement of financial success of a country from the Gross Domestic Product figure we currently look at to something that measures the quality of life for all of the humans in a country. Change what you measure and you change the result.

And so it is for me with wealth. What is a better way to measure wealth and financial success? If we stop trying to hit a certain number in our bank account, what should we aim for?

I don't know the answer, but one line of thinking that I currently enjoy involves the measurement of time.

Perhaps a real measure of wealth is our ability to take our time.

Maybe we measure our financial success in terms of how long we could not work and still maintain our current or desired lifestyle without any further income. There's also fun little micro-measurements of how much we value our time like taking shared Lyfts vs direct, how far our commute is, how much time we allow for vacation and personal care, how much sleep we get.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I think it will be better articulated in future Thoughts. The idea of measuring wealth in time instead of dollars is a topic I'll be exploring more internally as I put together my personal plan for 2020 and beyond and look forward to sharing.

If we want to implement real change and have massive impact, often times we have to change the game that is being played. Change the game, change the rules and change the scorecard. I'm ready for a better financial scorecard, and can't wait to see where this takes me.

What if?

What if?

It may be the most beautiful two word question that ever existed.

What if?

It implies that something might be possible even though it is likely very unexpected or previously undiscovered.

What if...

Anything that follows those two words is automatically being set up to allow for open discovery beyond what would normally be acceptable.

When I’m doing brainstorming and product sessions, I know we are on the right track when this question comes up. By its nature it is asking a question that is seeking extraordinary answers. Even if the answers that follow are total nonsense or even a resounding “no” it still starts to invoke some magic into the discussion.

Oh, and if the response is ever a resounding “no” to a what if question, you better be prepared for a “why not?”

How can I view myself from a higher perspective?

During a conversation at dinner last night, we stumbled upon a place that we all know is true: it is easier to see blind spots and opportunties for others than it is for ourselves.

While this is the core foundation of coaching and outside leadership, there is so much value to cultivating that skill internally as well. One of my main goals in working with leaders is to help them improve their self-assessment and understand what can be seen so easily from the outside.

This ties directly in with my favorite principle from Ray Dalio's book:

"Look at the machine from a higher level."

If we use Ray's analogy of our bodies as machines, we have a higher self that has the ability to write the code and make the decisions for this machine. Other times though, we let the machine overwrite the rules. We may have too much to drink, skip the gym, not get enough sleep, procrastinate at work on something important. Our higher self knows that all of these things are in our long term best interest, but the machine responds with a hard "Nope!"

How can I best design the system so that the machine is happy, satisfied, and satiated while allowing my higher self to be running the show?

It starts with a radical self-assessment and understanding the wants, needs and desires of the machine. If I neglect the human for long enough in pursuit of the path of the higher self, the human revolts and things break down. That's how I've tended to operate in the past. Long periods of high accomplishment followed by the crash.

Once I intimately understand the machine, it is then possible to design a life that allows the machine to feel like it's getting everything it wants while operating from the higher self.

I realized that this is a pretty far out there concept, and I'm still at the beginning steps of embracing this myself. I look forward to sharing more as I find the symphonic balance between the machine and the higher self.